Get out of the Boat

Alas, it is Friday, hooray!  This week has been an interesting one.  On Sunday and Monday night, I had the chance to attend a retreat at another local parish, featuring Catholic composer and musician, Steve Angrisano.  It was just a couple of hours each night, but the time was filled with laughter, song, reflection, and call to action.  One thing that sticks with me is a book he shared, called "If you want to walk on water, you gotta get out of the boat".  He read an excerpt, and I will be looking the book up on Amazon.  The basic premise, of course, is that it is up to us to take that "leap of faith" to give God the opportunity to show us all that He can do in our lives.  If we sit comfortably, we'll be comfortable, but nothing will change.  To achieve greatness, we must be willing to leap.  

A similar message was shared on Thursday evening, at a partnership dinner for a local women's center.  The Elizabeth New Life Center is a charity that helps women who find themselves in unwanted pregnancies to be able to make a better more heart friendly choice than abortion.  There was a woman there who had 5 boys, and when she got pregnant with the 6th, she knew she would not be able to provide him a good life, so the ENLC helped her to put him up for open adoption.  She can still see him and he is thriving.  She was present at the banquet and everybody stood and applauded her courage and strength.  There was a keynote speaker, and he shared the analogy "If you want to do great things, you've got to get off your donkey".  He was using this analogy to compel us to give generously to the organization, but, is is essentially the same idea.  We have to make the first move.  We have to make room for God to show up for us.

It's interesting to me that this message has come at me twice this past week.  God knows that I can be a bit dense.  Like, it takes some serious screaming and pushing to get me to do the right thing sometimes.  A lot of people question, "What does God want from me?".  And so do I, but often times, the moment I open my heart to the answer, I realize it's been there in big bold print the entire time.  My comfort zone (the boat, if you will), is to remain in the background.  I would like to just live my life unnoticed.  That way, if I happen to mess up (and I will), it will impact just a few people instead of a bunch.  But what seems abundantly clear to me now more than ever is that I was not made to hide in the background.  

Guys, this is where I need your prayers.  Because I really don't know if I have what it takes.  Will I always make the best decisions?  Will I treat people with 100% respect and dignity at all times?  Will I make a positive impact?  Pray with me that we can find the courage to get out of the boat this season.  That we can successfully tell our fear to "take a hike" and that God can work his power and beauty within us. Until next time, dear readers.

Friendship

Let's face it.  Friendships are hard.  Adult friendships are super hard.  But I have to share how my kids have recently inspired me in this area.

The other day, classes got back their spring portrait prints in school.  One of my 3rd grader's classmates, a boy whom he adores, had a different kind of expression on his face in his picture.  The other kids in the class started pointing and laughing at him, drawing attention to his photo.  This child started crying, and not a single classmate let up or apologized.  But my son, my sweet 8 year old, stood next to his friend, hugged him, told him he didn't look bad, not to listen to those others.  In the face of literally everybody else doing the opposite thing, my son stood beside his friend and let him know that he was there for him.  That he wasn't like the others.  I'm actually crying now as I write this.  As his parent, I want to take credit.  But that's all him.  This sweet boy of mine, he's a light in our lives.

Next, my 5th grade daughter has a friend who lives down the street from us.  Her friend hasn't had things easy in life.  Sometimes the friend acts out, does and says things that are less than friendly.  The other day her friend had a foam sword covered in red paint, ran after my daughter with it, and said she was going to kill her.  As an adult, I'm looking at the foam sword thinking "ok this is mostly harmless".  But it actually scared my daughter.  She did not find it funny.  She took the time to let her friend know that is not ok.  You don't threaten your friends.  The friend has lied on occasion too, and even in this incident claimed that it wasn't her, that she was actually asleep.  This sounds like a bit of a psychological issue that needs deeper attention to me, but that aside, my daughter is working through what it means to be friends with this girl.  She is learning be clear about what is ok and what is not, and to hold her friends accountable.  And that is a huge skill that I sure wish I had the guidance to develop when I was 10 years old.

As an adult, I can safely say that I have less than a handful of really good friends.  I had a great friend group in college but a lot of us have gone our separate ways, so the connection does not feel as strong.  One or two of those friends remain on my "good friend" list.  There was one person that I met during college that was more of a mentor then, who only recently has started to become more like a close friend to me.  And there have been a number of layers of complication to the process, but we both desire this growth and we've been willingly putting in the work.  It's rewarding but it's not easy.  I do miss when friendship was easy.  

I pray every day that I'm the kind of person that people want to be friends with.  This morning I saw a post on Facebook that said something like "I no longer pour into cups that don't pour into mine".  And it made me a little sad, because I would think that a friend would want to give to other people, regardless of what they would get in return.  But maybe it's more about what my daughter learned above, about setting boundaries and sticking to them.  

So I continue to pray and I continue to ask for all good things in my life.  I thank God every day for my children.  I am a better human because of them.  Until next time, dear readers.